


if there's eternity; hold on

by asdf_writings



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, Car Accidents, Coma, Crying, Hospitalization, Lots of that too, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Inaccuracies, Minor Character Death, Not Beta Read, Recovery, kunten has good friends, lapslock, like lots of it lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdf_writings/pseuds/asdf_writings
Summary: ten struggles and kun is in a coma. both are indefinite, and endlessly terrifying.~kunten in the aftermath of kun's car accident
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 34
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work in the nct fandom and of course it's wayv (stream turn back time, the chorus is a vibe) so characterization and stuff might be weird? luv these boys tho
> 
> anyways i wrote this without thinking and even tho im in school to be in the medical field this is definitely rife with medical inaccuracies so emphasis on the ~fiction~ in fanfiction
> 
> title from winter flower by younha ft. rm

kun's car accident took a lot away from him and left him with a lot of scars to prove it. the engine was so badly damaged that the car caught fire. the worst burns are on his legs which had gotten trapped underneath his dashboard, and were already broken from the impact itself. the smoke infiltrated his lungs as well, it was a miracle he was even pulled from the car in the first place. he was almost given up on by first responders with how tragically the car had been crushed.

kun was saved from death, but not from a painless recovery. his body had been through hell and back, but the emotional toll of it all would inevitably come to a head. the accident did indeed take a lot away from him, like his plans to move to america with ten to get married.

the two had both independently moved to korea once they reached adulthood to escape closed-minded or restrictive families and met in college. ten uprooted himself as soon as he graduated high school to attend a korean university through an arts scholarship program. kun had merely intended to study abroad for one term but ended up transferring once he was able to snatch the same international student arts scholarship but for music instead of dance like ten. they met at a club meeting for international students and were close friends ever since. in fact their circle grew quite wide, expanding to include more international students and even local ones. they fooled around as young students do and got serious once kun had officially transferred. now there was nothing holding them back from being together, even if korean society wasn't the kindest towards same-sex couples. they finally had each other, and soon enough they had become _that_ couple.

fast forward a few years and ten was performing in the korean national ballet company alongside asia’s best dancers. they even performed internationally a few times a year. kun was a songwriter and producer at one of the country’s best entertainment companies. they were both living their dreams, and doing so together. a miracle of an opportunity had come into their lives, in which kun was offered a promotion to perform his duties in his company’s los angeles-based branch. ten was also offered a spot at the prestigious LA dance company as a principal dancer and then later tenure as a formal ballet instructor, which was his best option for job longevity since ballet careers usually ended as quickly as they start.

they were both excited to be able to move to california together, where they could actually get married and start a family-- starting with a few cats, of course.

but then…this happened.

the call was ten’s worst nightmare. he was at the barre in one of the smaller rehearsal spaces when his phone rang showing an unknown caller. he was glad his gut had told him to just answer it. the hospital had called explaining that he was the emergency contact of a victim of a recent car accident, qian kun. he was told very little information after that, just that he was needed to fill out forms at the hospital. he feared the worst but assured himself that kun would be fine and probably only had a few scratches.

he hated how wrong he was.

kun was put into a medically-induced coma. he was intubated, a breathing tube shoved down his throat and taped to his mouth. he had all kinds of wires coming out of him, some to feed him, some to relieve him. he had 2 IVs, one in each hand, and small bandages littering his face. but the worst part were his legs. with such severe burns, the doctors couldn’t treat his fractures with plaster casts. they had to treat and dress the burns that covered most of his two legs but were worst at his left thigh. they had to fixate his broken bones with pins and a weird stabilizing contraption. ten could see everything.

he had to leave the room and sit outside for a while. it was all too much. he was still in his dance clothes, KT tape around his ankles and knees, mind full of racing thoughts. he was crying into his knees on the floor outside his fiancé’s hospital room when a nurse knelt down and asked if he had anyone to call. his first instinct was to tell them to call kun but…the thought just made him cry harder. eventually he was able to hand her his phone so that she could call taeyong, who then informed johnny, who drove both of them to the hospital.

taeyong, the only other person to have the key to his and kun’s apartment besides kun’s younger cousin sicheng, got some clothes for ten to change into as well as his ipad, phone charger, some snacks, and anything else he’d need for the next 24 hours.

the two older boys engulfed their friend in a tight hug before entering kun’s hospital room. taeyong immediately gasped and johnny had to look away. they braced themselves and, with one of each side of him, helped ten into a seat closest to kun’s bed.

ten was, for the first time ever in his life, so, so scared to hold his fiancé’s hand. kun had grown to like skinship, but ten was all about it, 100% from the start. even before they officially became boyfriends, ten made it very clear that his love language was physical touch. kun never pushed him away and always accepted his affections, and by now was able to sense when ten needed his. it was like a spidey sense but for his lover’s clinginess.

but ten was so afraid to hurt him, give him any more pain than what he already had to deal with. he knew this was not going to be an easy recovery process, for either of them. kun loved early morning runs and stretch breaks during work and freely hopping from one creative activity to the next. he loved cooking and baking up a storm, rearranging furniture when ten asked him and even when he didn’t, and as lewd as it may be, he loved sex too. he loved making love to ten and now ten wasn’t even sure if kun would be able to ever walk normally again.

ten suddenly burst into tears. he sobbed into the hospital-grade bed sheets, dangerously close to kun’s fingers, but still not touching. taeyong sprang to kneel by his chair, rub circles on his back. johnny was more distant, but held firmly onto ten’s chair, sending up a silent prayer for his dear friends. johnny had met both of them at their first international students meeting and quickly took them under his wing. he had introduced them to his roommates taeyong and yuta, who was a fellow international student. they hit it off and began to hang out, adding them to their circle which had already included johnny's boyfriend taeil and their dorm neighbors doyoung and jaehyun. eventually they also added to the group sicheng, kun's cousin who also left mainland china to escape their stuck up (read: homophobic) family.

even though all of them had graduated from their alma mater at this point, they were still very close. honestly ten had expected their friendships to fizzle out once the older ones had graduated. he was glad to have been proven wrong. they hung out biweekly, if not weekly, catching up over drinks or the grill, sharing stories and memories. ten was so grateful that he had found these friends he could call his people. especially now, when it literally felt like they were the only things holding him together.

“we…we were supposed to move to the states in a month.” ten sobbed, one of his hands reaching for something to ground himself. he found johnny’s hand, who had moved to kneel on his other side.

“h-he was looking at pet adoption places in LA,” johnny had to bite his lip to keep from crying. taeyong was already there, silent tears running down his face. “he thought i didn’t know but, I did and…he was looking at cats just for me.” ten felt hysterical. he knew he looked and sounded like it too.

“and now I don’t even know…how are we going to get through this?”

ten didn’t know who he was talking to really. the universe? johnny and taeyong? kun himself?

he was so, so lost. kun wasn’t just his fiancé who always knew what to do, who always came prepared with a plan or the skills to improvise one if needed. he was his anchor, his person, who talked him down from self-deprecating rants and splurged on his favorite expensive wine when he had a bad day at rehearsal. he kept the storm of hating but missing his family all the same time at bay, he fought tooth and nail to get a competitive scholarship for the mere chance of staying in korea to be closer with him. even if an actual relationship with ten wasn't guaranteed, kun always tried his hardest to be there for him.

ten was always fascinated at the way kun seemed to doubt his importance in ten’s life. he would blush whenever anyone would compliment their relationship, whenever ten himself would brag about having the best boyfriend in the whole world. he would shake his head and say “no, I’m the lucky one,” with their hands intertwined. all cutesy and cheesy and genuine and shit. like he didn't complete ten in the best ways possible. ten had been with people that had complemented him well enough, but kun was his soulmate. his exes had never been able to handle ten and the way he strived for attention. kun stepped into his life and helped him to glow and shine, never made him or allowed him to feel selfish or obnoxious. kun helped ten realize how little he was appreciated throughout his life, and even though they bickered and bantered on the daily, ten knew that at the end of the day, he was well and truly loved by kun.

at some point a nurse had entered, refilling the morphine and other pain medications attached to kun’s IVs before apologetically informing them that visiting hours would be over in one hour. only family, in this case ten, kun’s emergency contact, would be able to stay. the older two nodded and thanked her, but did not move from their spots.

“please, get up, i know it’s probably hurting your old man knees.” ten muttered, finally sitting up slowly to avoid a head rush, his hands coming to his face to try to wipe away his tears. they unfortunately kept coming.

“then come with us to that couch.” ten was once again led to sit in between his best friends, albeit even farther from the love of his life.

“how did this even happen?” johnny asked under his breath. it was mostly rhetorical, but ten heard it anyway.

“the police told me he was driving through an intersection when another car hit his driver’s side. another car following couldn’t slow down in time and pushed them to the side of the road. kun’s car caught fire while paramedics were trying to cut him out. the other driver was going almost 40 over the speed limit and died on impact, i think. i don’t remember. our car’s totaled…obviously.” ten repeated everything he was told just an hour ago.

“doctors said he’s lucky to be alive, and that he’ll be even luckier if he comes out of this anything close to how he was before.”

taeyong’s head snapped to face ten. “they said that to you?” he asked with narrowed eyes. that was certainly no way to speak about a patient’s prognosis, even if it was true.

a dry, humorless chuckle left ten’s mouth. “no, but i could tell that’s what they meant. he has some head trauma, a minor concussion, luckily no bleeding in his brain. but he can’t breathe on his own yet, the smoke was really bad. he has mostly third degree burns on his legs and so many different kinds of fractures, i couldn’t even understand some of them in korean, or any other language for that matter.” ten sighed, but it was mostly so that he could take a deep breath. this was so fucked up he didn’t know how he was even speaking coherently anymore.

“he’ll be in a lot of pain when he wakes up, even with pain meds. the bones won’t be able to heal properly until the burns heal sufficiently but that will take a long time. he’ll need tons of physical and occupational therapy just to move his body parts again. and who knows what other problems will come out of this. it’ll be a long hospital stay, that’s for sure. and then beyond that…i don’t even…i don’t even know how…”

“with us. you both are going to overcome this because you have each other and a whole band of brothers right behind you.” taeyong wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hoping to squeeze some hope and a whole lot of love into him.

“expect a lot of homemade meals and hugs because they’re definitely coming your way.” johnny tested the waters with some humor and almost sighed in relief when ten’s lips inched up into a small smile.

“i would’ve brought some soup here myself if i could have.” taeyong added on, grinning when ten’s smile grew a little more.

“we really are here for you. i hope you don’t mind but while i was waiting for taeyong to get your stuff i let everybody know about what happened. they’re not gonna bombard you or anything but they’re really worried, and everyone’s ready to help. jaehyun’s gonna start looking into what to do about your car, contacting kun’s company about his accident, all the legal stuff.” jaehyun wasn’t a lawyer, but he _was_ a business yuppie who knew his way around policies, logistics, and paperwork. “yuta is still in japan for that conference but he's trying to get a few days off and come back to help look after your apartment and things. doyoung probably _is_ whipping up a homemade meal right now. and sicheng is actually on his way.”

ten gasped. “oh my god, sicheng…” he felt another wave of sobs coming.

kun and sicheng were both only children, but they were the closest cousins ten had ever seen. despite only being one year younger, sicheng absolutely adored kun. ten had heard stories of how sicheng used to follow around his kun- _ge_ when they were toddlers, and how kun was the one that eventually taught him how to speak. sicheng was a late talker, and it concerned almost everyone in the family, because how can a child go three years without saying a single word? it was kun that actually had the patience and genuine interest in communicating with his younger cousin that got him to start speaking. sicheng still contacted his parents every now and then, only to let them know he was alive and to stop sending him unwarranted articles on how to be a good son, whatever that meant. but for kun, sicheng was the only family member he still talked to. he cut off everyone, if they didn’t already cut him off first for coming out.

the thought of one of kun's favorite people ever, the skinny, gangly kid he watched grow up and mature throughout college, coming to grieve over his nearly dead family member…ten felt immense sadness, and even guilt. he hadn’t even thought to contact him.

“hey, it’s okay. one of his friends is bringing him and he should be here by the time we have to leave. he’s not mad at you or anything, he’s just worried.”

“he’s gonna be devastated.”

taeyong hummed, because it was true. sicheng was a feeler, even if he didn’t look like it or show it outwardly. he hated seeing anyone in pain, even characters in movies. and he looked up to kun so much. this was going to be a very long night.

“if it makes you feel better…he’s also worried about you.”

“great way to make me feel better, john.” ten scoffed.

“all he said was that he wanted to make sure you were _both_ alright. he’ll be really upset, but you’ll both be here for each other.”

“it’s safe to say that we’re all here for you guys. you will get through this. and I _know_ kun will. he’s been through the most shit out of all of us. he’s a fighter and you are too.” taeyong gave another squeeze and pressed a quick kiss to the crown of ten’s head. it wasn’t kun, but it gave him a lot of comfort. damn taeyong and his parental instinct superpowers.

ten took a deep breath and reached to grab his friend’s hands. taeyong unwrapped his arm from around his shoulders and reciprocated his tight grasp. ten’s other hand was sandwiched between both of johnny’s bigger ones. ten prided himself on being witty and graceful. he struggled a lot with letting down those walls to be vulnerable. he worked on it a lot with kun, but also with his friends in college. he had a lot of arguments with both taeyong and johnny that all came down to his tendencies to shut everyone out to protect himself. the fact that he called them to be his support during all of this was a sign of how far he had come. it was still hard, but ten knew that there was no way he would be able to get through this without leaning on his friends.

they stayed that way for a long time, somehow silently and without tears. the only sounds came from their breathing and the machines helping kun do the same.

the same nurse from before entered sooner than they would have liked, once again apologizing but asking that johnny and taeyong leave. “you may visit again tomorrow starting at 8 am." they hugged ten once more before wishing kun goodbye as well. it hit ten that this whole time they were comforting ten so much that they didn't even have the chance to really be with kun. ten felt like such an asshole before taeyong left one last kiss on his head before leaving.

"oh, sir, there also is another visitor. he says he's the patient's cousin?" the nurse spoke after his friends had left.

"if his name is sicheng you can let him in. he is kun's cousin." the nurse nodded and once again fixing kun's IVs before leaving to let sicheng in.

ten was holding his breath when sicheng entered. he had a backpack hanging off his shoulder, his other hand gripping his phone so tightly his knuckles turned white. the first thing he did was drop the bag and his phone onto the couch in favor of embracing ten, who stood there stunned. everybody seemed to be comforting _him_ today when _kun_ was the one in the coma on the hospital bed.

"is he okay?" sicheng whispered into the crook of ten's neck. ten realized then that he was hiding himself away, fearful of the worst, because he hadn't told taeyong and johnny about kun's condition until they got here, so there was no way sicheng knew much of anything at all.

ten pulled himself away, putting comforting hands onto sicheng's shoulders. he was taller but still had a way of making himself smaller. he was freely crying now, his hands in fists by his side. "sicheng, kun is hurt very badly. but he's not in danger of dying, you don't need to worry about that." ten felt the boy shudder as he processed that information. he brought him back into a hug when he felt him shaking.

"so he's gonna be okay?"

"yes, baby, kun will be okay. but he's gonna be in a lot of pain but he'll be okay."

twenty minutes ago, ten was a mess. and he still was, but he had to get it together for sicheng. kun wasn't able to, so it was ten's responsibility. he himself had a soft spot for sicheng, a beanpole with a massive heart of gold. how their messed up, pressure cooker of a family managed to raise the two kindest and gentlest souls ten had ever met was beyond him.

eventually sicheng gained the courage that ten could not and sat in the chair by kun's bed to hold his hand. ten felt like an intruder, or like a live audience member of a tragic drama he never would've watched by himself. sicheng stopped crying and began speaking in soft mandarin. ten took classes growing up in school but was never able to fully grasp the language, even while dating and living with kun. he caught onto a few sentences and heard his name once or twice but he was glad he never gained fluency. listening in on sicheng would feel like a crime.

he did hear and understand one phrase though, and it made his heart quiver in his chest: "you have to get better, kun- _ge,_ so you and ten- _hyung_ can get married."


	2. Chapter 2

doyoung does in fact arrive the next morning with a homemade breakfast. he was able to catch sicheng leaving the hospital on his way in, wrapping him in a warm hug before forcing a tupperware container of freshly made omelets into his hands. if doyoung notices the red rim around his eyes (he does) he doesn't mention it (how could he?). he sends sicheng off to his friend's car who was waiting to take him home so he could wash up and rest a few hours and return later in the day.

it's 8 am sharp and doyoung is the first person at the waiting room desk holding his insulated thermal bags of food and a thermos of whatever strongass coffee jaehyun keeps at their shared apartment. even all these years later they're still roommates. but now they kiss and have sex with each other too sometimes.

"i'm here to see qian kun," he says brightly. the receptionist raises her eyebrows at his morning enthusiasm. before she can even request his ID he has it ready to hand over and her eyebrows raise even higher. she eventually hands him a guest sticker and pages a hospital volunteer to guide him to kun's room. she didn't know that doyoung actually worked in a different part of the hospital, but that's to be expected. he was all the way in the nuclear medicine lab, running tests and scans typically for elderly folks and was never in this wing.

he took a look at the charts on the door, frowning at some of the codes. they were meant for the various nurses on rotating shifts to know more information about the patient, like whether or not they could eat or if they needed a one-on-one. but doyoung knew what they meant too. and they didn't look good.

doyoung shook his head of any negative thoughts and took a deep breath before knocking. through the door he heard the sharp scrape of a chair. he probably scared ten awake in there. eventually he heard a soft, "come in," and opened the door slowly.

ten looked up and smiled softly at his same-age friend before his eyes widened when he caught a glimpse of everything he was carrying. doyoung smiled sheepily, knowing he probably went overboard with it all but he wasn't able to get much sleep last night anyways. he could only imagine what ten was going through right now. 

"good morning! I brought you breakfast. nice and warm, and probably better than anything you'd be able to get here." doyoung set all of his things down so that he could hug his friend freely.

"I wouldn't know, I haven't had anything since last night." ten muttered into doyoung's sweater.

"what? you and sicheng didn't feed yourselves? well it's a good thing I brought enough for you and him."

doyoung's coping mechanism was centered around providing. if things went wrong his hands shook until he could get them on something to ground himself, which usually meant handcrafted gifts for those around him. he bounced around from baking, to knitting and crocheting, but he usually stuck with cooking. his kitchen was always stocked in case he needed to cook his feelings away. once during a particularly rough patch with jaehyun, doyoung had baked four dozen macarons, which he didn't even like. the other staff in his lab had a great week eating various flavored confections and even complained to doyoung that he should fight with his boyfriend more often so he could keep baking.

ten eyed doyoung as he unpacked everything onto the small table in the corner. tupperware lids were popped off, chopsticks laid out neatly beside them on top of napkins, the coffee was poured into some cups he had brought with him, and doyoung had even brought small pods of creamer and a few bags of sugar.

when doyoung turned around from his mini feast set up, ten was still standing a few feet away, his eyes wide. but they were also glazed over, like he wasn't really there with him. he even flinched when doyoung had approached him and gently grabbed his hands.

"sorry I kind of just barged in here and did all of that. johnny called us all last night and texted after he and taeyong left. you don't have to explain anything to me, but I'll still listen to anything you have to say. and I really need you to eat something, you're almost shaking."

ten shook his head, and doyoung realized the look in his eyes was actually unshed tears. he held them in, bless his heart, and took a deep breath before hugging his friend once again.

"please don't be sorry. I'm just having a hard time, like my mind is...it's hard to think right now."

doyoung nodded. he and ten were both talkers in their friend group; they liked debating and egging each other on. ten would tease doyoung for being older than him, and doyoung would complain that they weren't even a full month apart. and then kun would mediate playfully before they both turned on him for being even older. it was all in good fun, and made for lots of loud banter and more than a few noise complaints.

but doyoung had never seen ten like this. he watched as ten downed his black coffee all in one go and proceeded to eat in silence. doyoung knew he was supposed to be there for the both of them, but kun was still unconscious. he would need all of their help and more later on, but ten was in front of him right now. or rather, a hollow version of ten was in front of him.

"jaehyun was able to handle a lot of the logistics last night. he was going to come with me today but he wasn't able to get out of this work meeting. but me, jae, and yuta are planning on visiting tomorrow as well."

ten nodded. doyoung kept wanting to say something more helpful, more comforting. this was out of his element. he coped with the food but how was he supposed to help _ten_ cope?

"I can hear the gears turning in your head," ten's voice was quiet and hoarse. "you don't have to say anything to me. sicheng and I talked a lot last night, that's why we weren't able to really eat anything." ten grimaced. it was a really tough night, with a lot of crying. sicheng was really vulnerable with ten and he tried really hard to do the same but the only person he really wanted to talk to was kun, but he had a tube in his throat. eventually it had all gotten to him and he cried with sicheng for hours about the guilt he was feeling. it felt like everyone was catering to him when kun was the one hurt, but sicheng helped him see things from his perspective.

_"everyone knows you and kun are like a packaged deal. you don't have to feel guilty because this isn't a burden to anyone, to care for you both."_ sicheng really had matured since he first met him, and it made his heart warm thinking about it. a silver lining to this terrible, overwhelming storm cloud.

"thank you, doyoung. for doing this, and please thank jaehyun as well, because I don't think I would've known where to even start..." ten averted his eyes to look anywhere but at doyoung's face. wow, this vulnerability thing was super hard. "i know it's probably hard for you to comfort me, but you don't have to try. i'm glad you barged in here, and i'm grateful for all of this, really."

doyoung's eyes mirrored ten's in how they began to water. he smiled tightly, beginning to pack up the remaining uneaten food so it wouldn't spoil. "you know we'd do anything for you guys," it was supposed to come out as a strong statement, but doyoung's wavering voice defaulted to a whisper.

"i do. and kun does too."

~

_why can't i see anything?_

_where is that light coming from?_

_who is holding my hand?_

_how am i alive?_

_..am i alive?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really tried doing something with that ending LOL gentle reminder that i am fairly new to nct and greatly inexperienced in the medical field 
> 
> also, i'm not sure how big of a role the sidepairings in this fic will be but i will add them to the tags if i ever do figure it out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for a scene resembling a panic attack in this chapter, right after ten's shower

taeyong is pleasantly surprised to hear laughter coming from the inside of room 1011. it had been 2 days since his last visit, and a few more since his first visit with johnny. from what the rest of the college crew was saying, ten was doing considerably better. he had progressed to holding kun's hands and sicheng said he caught him running his fingers through his hair at one point. he was genuinely so afraid to hurt him in the first few days of kun's hospitalization, but he was making great strides.

kun himself, however, was still unconscious. his brain activity was normal and they had him on a less complicated mix of pain medication, so it was really up to his body to wake up whenever it was ready. if you looked really hard enough you could see his eyelids or one of his fingers twitch every once in awhile. taeyong himself had never seen it, but it gave ten a lot of hope.

he knocked twice before entering and saw that he was the last to arrive. "well look who's finally here!" johnny laughed out loud, pointing at his former roommate who would always scold him for being even the slightest bit tardy. he was met with a light smack on the chest from taeil. "shut up, john, we literally got here like three minutes ago."

ten let out a giggle and taeyong was relieved because it meant that he was more present than he was those 2 days ago, when he barely reacted to what anyone said to him.

"sorry for being late-- even though we didn't even agree on what time we were coming." taeyong glared playfully at yuta who raised his hands in defense.

"yes let's blame me when there's like a billion other people who could've made that decision."

"well we asked you what time would work best and you didn't even reply!" doyoung pointed out, and soon enough everyone was back to bickering. just like old times.

a nurse had to come in and tell them to keep it down if they didn't want to be asked to leave. when she closed the door the room scattered in muffled laughs. truly, just like old times.

"our first noise complaint in a hospital." jaehyun pointed out, drawing a check mark in the air with his finger, like they had all completed something on an imaginary bucket list.

"glad I was here to experience it with all of you." sicheng smiled, and everyone returned it. sicheng was the baby of the group. he was the last to get introduced to everyone, and was even the last to graduate. he entered college the same year as jaehyun but had to stay an extra semester to complete courses for his minors. that plus his sweet and innocent demeanor meant that everyone was whipped for him.

"please tell me why you even decided to move 400 km away then, hm?" yuta wrapped his arms around sicheng's waist from behind. sicheng had moved to busan, albeit temporarily, to get some more training in order to become a speech and language pathologist. he was determined to help kids like him, who were thought to be lost causes just because they were late talkers. and also, he had to put his linguistics degree to use somehow. the move was the reason he needed a friend to bring him to the hospital after getting picked up from the train station.

had yuta been home he definitely would've been the one to do it, but he had only arrived in seoul himself a few days later. at least now sicheng had somewhere to stay. he had been bouncing around between the other guys' guest bedrooms, and while he knew he would always be welcomed, he was secretly just waiting for yuta to come home. yuta settled his head onto sicheng's shoulder. he couldn't see the blush on sicheng's face himself but he knew it was there.

"it's only for a few more months. i'll be back in seoul to annoy you again soon enough." he muttered, whining when yuta squeezed around his belly.

"ah, young love." johnny commented from the side, ducking right after to avoid the pillow yuta grabbed and threw at his face.

ten was so glad everyone was here again. all these antics made him feel like he was back in college with next to no worries besides the uncertainty of his future as a dancer and other associated perils of youth. and it also took his mind off of the fact that kun still hadn't woken up yet. his physical recovery was improving, that was for sure. nurses hummed satisfied whenever they came to redress his burns and doctors were confident that he would awaken "soon." whatever that meant.

a hand waved in front of ten's face. it was taeyong's.

"you with us?"

"yeah. I'm just glad to hear some noise again. it gets kind of quiet at night." this would be the fifth night ten was sleeping in kun's hospital room. every night his favorite of the nurses, an older woman named yeongsil, would bring in a cot for him to sleep in and recently he had taken to bridging the gap between their beds and latch onto kun's fingers. he had been upgraded to only one IV now and ten treasured that hand free of needles and wires.

"you know that any one of us would stay with kun for the night so you could go sleep at home." taeyong knew how this conversation would go, but he felt the need to assure ten anyways.

"you know I wouldn't be able to sleep. not if he's not there with me. plus, what if he wakes up when i'm not there?...I need to be here." he subconsciously rolled his wrists and ankles, a bad habit of his. he did it more and more often now. he hadn't danced or done any physical activity since he got the call. jaehyun had contacted his ballet company to inform them of his family emergency, and he was lucky to get up to a month off, even though half of that month would be his entire sick leave for the rest of his contract. kun's company had been very generous and understanding, many of his coworkers sending gifts and get-well messages. he was of course given as much time off as needed for his recovery, but the promotion had been given to someone else. they needed feet on the ground in LA, even if it couldn't be their best man kun. ten knew he'd be crushed to find that out, but hopefully once he was all recovered he'd be able to win that back. ten would almost definitely lose his principal dancer spot as well, but that was really the least of his worries.

"i knew you'd say that. but really, it wouldn't hurt you to get at least a nap or something at home. you need a stretch break, fresh air, whatever. just a few hours. we'll be here and some of us can even go with you if you want."

ten toyed with the idea in his head. he really did want to stay in case kun woke up, but he hadn't seen their apartment in days. he knew their friends wouldn't let the place turn to shambles, but how were his plants? or rather, how were kun's plants? (he was the one that really looked after them anyways, even if ten was the one who begged to get real ones instead of artificial)

"it doesn't have to be today, but just consider it."

before ten could reply, their attention was taken by the sudden outburst from the corner of the room. taeil had just lost rock paper scissors, and apparently he had to pay for everyone's coffee now.

"guys, text your orders to taeil- _hyung_!!! shitty hospital coffee on him!"

yuta was way too excited about making taeil's wallet hurt, but ten was more excited about the twitch of kun's hand in his. they were becoming more frequent, and he usually announced to the group when he made small movements like this. but this one felt like it was just for him.

~

ten finally agreed to return home the very next day. that night he had a nightmare that he didn't even fully remember, but it was enough to have him screaming in his sleep. nurse yeongsil had to wake him up and calm him down in the middle of her night shift. he stayed up the rest of the night tracing patterns on kun's arm with his finger until taeyong arrived in the morning. they waited for johnny and taeil to arrive so that taeyong could take ten home.

their apartment felt like a whole new place, even though he and kun had lived here for almost three years together. it was littered with evidence that it was theirs; the nicks on the wall from the furniture they constantly moved, the backsplash of their kitchen slightly stained by kun's zealous cooking, the guest room they turned into a mini dance rehearsal space for ten. and yet, he felt like a stranger here.

in spite of all of that, ten was admittedly surprised at how well his friends had maintained the place. kun's plants were alive and well, and doyoung had definitely been through here at least a couple of times, with how dust-free everything was. 

"do you need anything? tea, or breakfast?" taeyong asked as they both made their way into the apartment.

"I don't really know. it's weird. like, this is my home but I don't even know what to do in it right now."

"how about a shower? you smell like a hospital. is it okay if I make something for you to eat?"

"taeyong I'm not really all that hungry."

"it'll be light, just so you won't pass out on me."

"sure, I guess," ten rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know what's all in here, though, but you're pretty creative. i'll be back in like 20."

"only 20? what happened to danseur's minimum one hour shower routine? has ten evolved past the need for beauty and skin care?"

"i don't need an hour to be beautiful, you already know i was born that way. the hour is for relaxing my muscles after rehearsal. and blowing off steam and all that tension with some good mast--"

"just! go get the clorox smell off of you and come eat."

"yes, sir." ten mock saluted him before marching off to the bathroom. the bathroom inside the master bedroom. the master bedroom he hadn't been let alone slept in almost a week.

ten's hand hovered above the door handle. he was so frustrated with himself. why couldn't he just walk into his own stupid bedroom, his favorite place on earth? whether he meant to or not, his hand slammed down onto the handle and swung the door open.

ten could tell none of his friends had come inside when they came to check on the apartment. their closet door was still slightly ajar, which was surprisingly one of kun's bad habits, since ten cared a lot about the clothes inside and wanted to keep them protected. their bed was barely made, definitely ten's doing since kun always got out of bed before him. and their curtains had not been closed shut, which was something they both did together most nights before going to bed. they would stand by the window in front of their view of streetlights and convenience stores, one of ten's hands on one curtain and kun's hand on the other, and they would slide it shut so their hands met in the middle. it started off as a random cutesy thing initiated by kun on their first new year's in that apartment. they watched the fireworks from inside since ten had caught a cold and they weren't able to go out and celebrate. ten was so sorry that they couldn't have fun on kun's birthday, but it didn't matter to him. as long as they were together, he'd always have a great celebration. they closed the curtains together and continued their celebration in another way.

"ten," taeyong's voice interrupted his thoughts. "you should, um, probably get started on that shower?"

"oh, yeah, right..." ten dealt with all of these emotions the only way he knew how: ignoring them and powering through. it was like he was a robot, going through the motions like he was programmed to do by muscle memory. once he was was sufficiently clean and stepped out of the shower he saw that there was something written on the fog of the mirror. kun had probably written it the morning of his accident, after his post-run shower. it had faded and then reappeared with the steam of ten's own shower.

_i love you_

he had written it in english, with a heart replacing the dot over the i. ten dropped to his knees, feeling like he was putting all kdrama actresses to shame. the heels of his hands went straight to his eyes, like he could somehow block the tears from coming. he felt utterly ridiculous. kun wasn't dead, but all of these little reminders of him made him feel like he was grieving their past.

and maybe that was it. ten was in mourning. kun was going to survive this accident but would he truly be able to live? his physical recovery would take months at the very least, but likely more than a year of focused rehabilitation if he wanted to reach his pre-accident athleticism. and that wasn't even considering his emotional recovery. this was never in their plan. kun was someone that prepared for any and all setbacks, but not even he could have predicted and prepared for this.

and it hurt ten to think about all of the pain his fiance would have to experience, but more than anything it scared him. he was terrified of the inevitable responsibility of helping kun recover.

what if kun is beyond his help?

what if kun realizes how poorly suited ten is to care for him?

what if he breaks off the engagement, asks him to move out?

**what if ten fails and ends up hurting him more?**

and that's the thought that really breaks him.

his knees hurt from their bathroom tile and he feels like he's suffocating, from the crying or from the shower steam he's not completely sure. he's not sure about anything anymore. he feels like he's about to pass out when a pair of arms somehow wedges underneath his armpits, lifting him up and out of the bathroom. he unceremoniously is dropped onto the carpet of his own bedroom when, for the second time in 48 hours, taeyong waves his hand in front of ten's face to get him out of his head. the first time worked wonders, but ten's starting to feel immune to that tactic now.

"ten, I really need you to breathe deeply with me."

taeyong's voice sounds very far away, like a dream. or like the nightmare he had that woke him up from a fitful sleep that made him agree to finally return home.

_home_.

his real home was in a hospital a fifteen-minute drive away.

"ten!"

taeyong's hands all but slap on either side of ten's face, palms over his ears and fingers forcing pressure onto his scalp. the white noise dissipates quickly but his thoughts continue to race. his vision is naturally bad, but up-close he can see taeyong's mouth moving, but not forming any words. he was showing him how to breathe. for once in his life, ten appreciates the human nature lesson as he mimicked taeyong's inhales and exhales.

it feels like an eternity has passed by the time taeyong lowers his hands. ten doesn't know if the wetness on his face is from his shower, sweat, or tears. he focuses on breathing independently and calms down enough to assure taeyong he can be left alone long enough to change. once he's out of his bathrobe and into actual clothes, he emerges from the bedroom to see a pot of soup on the kitchen counter.

"you really didn't have much that wasn't already expired but there were some chicken noodle soup cans at the bottom of your pantry. hope that's okay."

ten nods and takes a seat, keeping his hands in his lap so they won't shake.

"do you want to talk about it?" taeyong asks casually, like they're discussing the weather, as he ladles out some soup into a bowl.

"no. but I know I probably should." ten accepts the bowl gratefully, his head bowing in a rare sign of respect. they were all so close now that they barely ever bothered with formal speech or behaviors. but ten felt extremely indebted to taeyong after what had just happened.

"nobody's making you say anything, ten."

"I know. but I feel like if I don't say this I'm gonna bottle it up until I resent it and everything and everyone and I can't let that happen or else...or else I'll really have lost everything."

taeyong hums in response, and waits patiently for ten to build his courage.

"the nightmare last night and whatever just happened now," ten grimaces at both memories. "I think it's pretty obvious that I'm spiraling. and that's the last thing I wanna do, not when kun is so close to waking up. he's gonna need me way more when he's awake and even though I want to, and I will be there for him...it's what's scaring me the most."

"what do you mean?"

"it's like...kun is this goliath of a person to me. i've only ever known him as this untouchable, self-made man who loves helping people and making music. he's strong and talented and I love him. but I...don't know how to care for him. at least not like this. and it scares me to the point of nightmares and it keeps me up. taeyong, I have no idea where to start in helping rebuild a person."

by the end of ten's spiel, taeyong has come around the other side of the counter to wrap his arms around him.

"it's okay to be scared. this is uncharted territory, of course you're going to be scared. nobody is blaming you for feeling that way, either. I know you've heard it like a thousand times already but we're here to help. and you don't have to... _rebuild_ kun. we're not working completely from scratch. yes, he'll need help, but recovery isn't linear. you're trying to deal with these problems that haven't even been created yet. the tangible focus right now is taking care of yourself so you can help take care of kun. and that means breathing right and eating this soup I worked so hard on."

ten is once again endlessly grateful for his friends. taeyong's speech felt like a slap in the face, but the wake-up call kind, not the rude bitch slap kind. by the end of it, his breathing is normal and his mind is clear.

"sorry for slobbering all over you. it looks like you're the one that needs a shower now."

"I'll go wash up if you promise to finish that soup and then consider taking a nap after."

"deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I was able to communicate/express ten's emotional rollercoaster; he may come across as cowardly? but honestly i would be too in his situation but of course taeyong was there to make things make sense
> 
> stay safe and healthy !


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my google search history really looks like: "do nurses wash coma patients hair?" oof

ten is not usually a napper. neither he nor kun hardly ever nap unless it's a lazy sunday and they're both in bed together. but napping on his couch after several nights of tossing and turning in a hospital-provided cot was somehow...peaceful. he wished it could have remained that way for at least another twenty minutes, but before he knew it he was shaken awake _again_ , but this time not by nurse yeongsil.

"ten, get up," taeyong says in a tone that suggested danger. ten uprights himself quickly, ignoring the spots in his eyes in favor of focusing on taeyong's almost panicked face.

"what's wrong?" sleep still riddles ten's voice but he tries to shake it off. something must be wrong for taeyong to be so frazzled like this.

"kun woke up."

~

_"please don't freak out!"_ taeil's voice begs on the other end of the phone. ten holds it with white knuckles sitting in the passenger seat as taeyong drives, listening on speaker. _"he opened his eyes for about thirty seconds, and he was back asleep by the time we got a nurse to come in."_ johnny clarified further.

"did he look okay? was he scared?" ten finally asked after a tense few moments of quiet.

_"he looked a little confused but I don't think he was awake long enough to feel too much pain. the nurses said this is good, though. he should be fully conscious soon."_

ten hums, not knowing how to respond. it is a good thing, he supposes, but maybe he wouldn't have been so confused if he saw ten's face. what if he was able to squeeze his hand, maybe kun would stay awake longer?

soon his mind turns blank as taeyong thanks the couple for letting them know and staying with kun until they arrived. the call ends but ten's grip on taeyong's phone doesn't let up.

"i'm really sorry, ten." taeyong breaks the silence, too nervous to turn his head to look at ten's face.

"...it's fine."

in all honesty, ten was very upset. he just _knew_ this would happen if he tried to leave that hospital room. it's like the universe was punishing him once again for his selfishness.

he let the negative thoughts ruminate in his mind only for a few more seconds. he took a deep breath and turned to look at taeyong. poor guy looked guilty as hell. it wasn't his or really anyone's fault.

"kun wasn't even awake that long, and at least johnny and taeil were there for him. I needed a break and you gave me one. at least neither of us were alone...thank you, taeyong."

taeyong smiles in relief and ten turns back to look at the road ahead.

~

within minutes, the two arrive and relieve their _hyungs_ from kun-sitting duty. they volunteer to stay, but when ten hears their stomachs grumble and finds out that they hadn't eaten all day, he sends them away to, "eat or go on a date or something."

ten takes residence at the seat next to kun's bed. he reaches into his bag and pulls out one of the many hand cream bottles he's collected over the years. he gently massages lavender-scented lotion onto both of kun's hands, wary of the IV in one of them, and even applies a little bit on his elbows since they looked a little dry. taeyong grins at them from the couch. ten can worry all he wants about not knowing how to care for kun, but taeyong knows he'll do a good job. he already is. ten's not the type to halfass the things that are important to him. and nothing is more important to him than kun.

taeyong himself is sent home when ten hears him yawn. his back had been turned to taeyong this whole time and he admittedly forgot he was still in the room. "you should get some rest, too. eat something while you're at it."

"I had some soup while you were in the shower."

"well I know you didn't sleep while I was in there, so you should go do that instead. you probably have a shift later, right?"

taeyong sighed because ten was right. he was more fortunate than some of the other guys in their friend group in terms of work flexibility. he partially-owned and helped run a popular bakery in the city, and while it was kind of hell when they first started, now he had more time to himself. but, he was scheduled to go in and work on some special orders for the next few nights.

"are you good to be left alone?"

"you know I'm not really alone."

taeyong smiled and gave ten a squeeze from behind. "text us with updates!"

~

for awhile there is nothing to update on. the only texts in the group chat came from johnny and taeil-- letting ten know they were back home-- and yuta-- a picture of sicheng with some shelter kittens. those two were so annoyingly cute, going on dates they refused to call dates and basically living with each other without sicheng's name on the lease. kun was gonna get a kick out of this when he woke up, seeing as he first introduced the two and always thought they'd be a cute couple even when everybody else disagreed. 

_when he woke up_ , ten thought to himself. ten had determined that the feeling he had when he found out that johnny and taeil had seen kun awake was jealousy. he was jealous that they got to see his eyes. he had yet to voice this out loud, but ten missed looking into kun's eyes dearly. he found himself squeezing kun's hand in the hopes that he would squeeze back. he nearly dropped his hand in shock when he actually _did_ squeeze back. it was weak, but it was there.

"are you coming back to me, baby?" ten asked, his other hand going to kun's hair. he giggled at the feeling of his fiance's scalp. the nurses gave him frequent sponge baths and they had allowed ten to help wash his hair with a small tub of water once, but on most days they would simply spray dry shampoo into his hair.

"you may need a haircut soon," ten whispered, pulling on a few strands so they framed his forehead like bangs. "or maybe you should keep this look. I've never seen you with long hair. what if we grew our hair out together? we'd be so hot. well, i'd be hot. you'd look really, really cute. I think you'd look so handsome." ten began twisting kun's hair, coiling strands around his fingers and releasing them so they'd spring back. he moved his fingers to kun's cheeks, pressing with his index fingers right where his dimples would be.

"I miss your smile. it's been a week since I've seen your dimples. I can't believe you're depriving me of them for so long. _so rude_." he murmured the last part in english, dropping his head so that it rested on kun's shoulder. he pressed his nose to his neck and tried to tamper his disappointment when he smelled the dry shampoo and not kun's signature scent. kun smelled like oak trees and honey. he smelled like how he loved; strong and warm.

"you opened your eyes for the old men," referring to _johnil_ of course, the ugliest ship name in the whole group. "because you missed me so much, right? what did they do, bore you so much you had to wake up? typical. they probably just sat on the couch and kissed each other's cheeks. sorry you had to experience that alone, baby."

ten did this every time they were alone. in dramas and movies the distressed main character would always speak to their comatose love interest, lamenting about life and death. ten could never bring himself to do that. at most he got a little sappy, but he would usually recount the in-between details of his day-- a sarcastic joke one of the nurses told, the quality of the hospital coffee that day, the antics of the groupchat.

"I think you might lose the sicheng-yuta bet. I don't think they're gonna wait for sicheng to move back from busan. they're getting closer to being official every day, I can feel it. they went to the damn adoption center _again_ today. it's cute though. I can't wait for them to finally get together. yuta would stop complaining about being single and sicheng would have a boyfriend you wouldn't have to interrogate. it's a winwin situation,"

ten continued to ramble on, this time talking about his sweater doyoung had brought him from their apartment. he was in the middle of retelling the story of when kun spilled his tea on it during one of their first real dates, something that kun had yet to live down even while he was lying in a hospital bed, when he swore he saw kun's mouth twitch. he froze, his jaw dropped and incapable of working. was he just seeing things?

he felt kun's fingers clench slightly around his. ten's eyes whipped straight to their hands, squeezing back and looking up to kun's face just in time to see his lips quirk up in the smallest of smiles. ten would never admit how quickly his eyes misted over, but it was almost instant.

"you're still embarrassed about that, hm?" he ran the back of his finger across kun's cheek, where his blush would usually be. "you shouldn't be. it's one of my favorite memories with you."

a nurse entered the room, and ten was familiar enough with all of them at this point to remain in this position. in the beginning he would scramble away from kun and back into his seat whenever anybody walked in the door, like he wasn't allowed to touch his own fiance. he brought kun's knuckles to his lips and kissed them lightly as the nurse checked his vitals.

"he's been making even more little movements. that's good, right?" ten asked, keeping his eyes focused on kun's face. everyday he grew to hate that tube in his mouth more and more. hopefully today they would be able to remove it.

"yes, I wouldn't be too worried. considering the trauma his body has been through, kun- _ssi_ is very stable. I don't want to give you any false hope, but if I had to put money on it, I'd say he'll be back with us by the end of the night."

ten smiles and thanks her, bowing when she leaves. "you heard her. she basically bet money on you. now you have to wake up today."

~

**_"_ ** **_now you have to wake up today."_ **

_oh ten, I'm trying so hard._

~

when kun opens his eyes the lights are not as bright as last time. he also doesn't see taeil- _hyung_ or johnny- _hyung_ anymore, so they must have left. or maybe that was a dream... surely not, their faces looked so real. he had never seen them look that tired before, so he couldn't have made that up, right? oh no, were they tired because of him?

kun blinks his eyes several times like he's on autopilot mode and his body is checking to make sure it can still function. his attention is brought back to the ceiling as his eyes focus. at least he could still see, that was good. and he could feel. he was able to squeeze ten's hands a few times while he was asleep, but it took so much concentration that it only ever lasted a few seconds. he had tried to wiggle some of his toes, but it hurt too much and he was too scared to keep trying. he remembered what happened to him; bits and pieces of the crash flashed through his mind sometimes. he couldn't remember every single detail, but he knew that he was lucky to be alive.

all of a sudden the lights are blocked out by a face. the face is worried, marred with lines and undereye bags, and there's a frown where a smile should be. he knows it's ten's face, could tell by the angular outline and the way his eyes pinch when he examines something.

"kun? can you hear me?" kun feels a hand cup his cheek. god, that feels so good. he can't believe there was ever a time when he claimed to not like skinship.

"wait, don't answer that. let me call the doctor." ten reaches over him to press the button to summon someone, anyone in the room because kun is _finally_ awake.

ten's other hand is still holding kun's. he squeezes it to get his attention.

"are you hurt? what do you need, baby?"

kun smiles as best he can with a tube taped to his mouth. he hopes his eyes can convey how happy he is that ten is by his side. he is a little surprised, though, to see that ten is crying now.

"sorry, I just...I missed your dimples."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kunnie is finally awake!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday taeyong!

"3, 2, and...go ahead and cough for me."

kun does as he is told by the doctor and coughs as the tube that helped him breathe is pulled from his mouth. ten cringes by his side, holding his hand as the doctor completes the extubation process. kun coughs some more to clear his throat as the nurses go about disposing his tube. he still had another one in his stomach to feed him but hopefully that would be taken out later as well. 

once kun has settled down, ten fulfills his responsibility of feeding him ice chips. kun accepts the ice, swishing it around in his mouth to let it melt and relieve his dry mouth. he looks like he has a lot of questions to ask but the doctor does too. as soon as he entered the room when kun woke up, he launched into an inventory of questions to ensure kun didn't have any brain damage from his concussion. he had recognized ten immediately, remembered his accident, and was able to point to his birthday on a calendar, so he was cleared of any potential amnesia.

the doctor then asked kun to squeeze hands, blink his eyes, wiggle his toes. it's only the last one that he can't really do. the doctor pricks various points on his skin with a tool to test his sensory nerves. he can still smell and succeeds in speaking, though his voice is obviously very hoarse. upon further testing the doctor determines that kun has an incomplete spinal cord injury.

ten and kun's faces both look absolutely terrified, and are hardly assuaged even when the doctor assures them that it does not mean permanent paralysis. "I have little to no fears about that. your brain will just have to relearn to send those signals with proper training. I can refer you to great physical and occupational therapists to help you, but right now my concerns lie with your burns."

the doctor continues to explain the extent of kun's injuries. the poor man looks so overwhelmed. he just woke up minutes ago and now has to grapple with relearning how to walk and burn scars on his legs that will almost surely never go away. he is given the rundown on treatment for his burns, stabilization for his broken bones, and what had happened during his week-long coma.

"a week?!" kun would've leapt out of the bed in a panic if he could. he can't believe his body had betrayed him for that long. he had projects to finish, not to mention he still had a lot to do in regards to their move to california.

ten sighs and turns to the doctor as politely as he can. he been a genuinely great doctor for his fiance. really, the hospital staff here had all been very lovely. but there were some things ten needed himself, alone. "is it okay if we maybe continue this later?"

dr. lee looks unfazed. at least ten is assured that this happens frequently. "oh, of course. in fact all of this information can be readily accessed in your files and paperwork, you can ask anyone if you need it supplied or explained. we've also upped your pain medication slightly but don't be afraid to ask for more if you're experiencing discomfort."

he stands and adjusts his white coat, but before he turns to leave, he looks at the couple warmly. "you have a very reliable partner, kun- _ssi._ he hardly ever left your side."

after that, kun is left with more questions than answers. he calms significantly when he feels ten's hand in his hair.

"are you in any pain?"

kun shakes his head. the drugs must be good, because he looks down at his body and cringes. his lower half is almost entirely wrapped in bandages and dressings and he sees scabs scattered along his arms from debris lacerations.

"I was really in a coma for a week?"

ten nods gently, hoping that his scalp massage could provide at least a little bit of comfort.

"and you were here the whole time?"

"...taeyong and everyone made me go home this morning, and you woke up for a little bit and I missed it so I came back as soon as I could and...I really wanted to be by your side the whole time, I'm sorry baby."

"sorry? tennie," ten almost sobs at that nickname. he really did miss all of the little things about kun and the relationship they had. "why are you sorry? you took such good care of me. I wish you had gone home sooner and taken care of yourself. did you miss an entire week of rehearsal?"

ten nodded, dreading the rest of this conversation.

"don't worry about that. they gave me a month off. your company too, they're letting you recover as long as you need. so don't worry about work or money or anything except getting better."

"as long as I need? but what about the big move? we only have like three weeks left now."

"kun..."

the next few moments are silent as kun processes and ten waits. as soon as he sees the tears fill kun's eyes he takes it as his cue to wrap his arms around him. kun's hands are gripping the bedsheets so tight that ten thinks they'll rip in half.

"kun, baby, I'm sorry. we're not...we're not moving anymore."

"they're sending somebody else, aren't they?"

"I'm sorry, kunnie..."

kun's throat hurts from crying, and also from the tube that was just extracted out of it. otherwise he feels no physical pain. so then why does he feel like his heart is breaking right inside him? why does this hurt so much?

he doesn't care about the promotion, not really. he cared about his journey with ten and the next step they were about to take. it was more than a step, they were about to take a giant leap together. but instead kun was forced to take three steps back and was dragging ten down with him.

ten murmurs words that he hopes are comforting, slowly rocking kun back and forth as he cries. kun's fingers go from being tangled in his sheets to gripping ten's sweater. he's usually not the 'angry at the universe' type but...damn. he loved the life that he and ten had made. they were in a healthy relationship with an amazing circle of friends. they were financially stable, a miracle in the life of two artists. moreover, they loved their jobs, and were both on the cusp of achieving even greater things in their respective careers. they were going to adopt a cat. kun couldn't help but feel cheated by the world.

maybe his mother was right. he just wasn't meant to be happy.

_"don't ever say that,"_

kun froze. of course his muddled brain chose that time to speak his thoughts out loud.

ten leaned back so that kun's face was in his hands instead of against his chest. his hands cupped kun's face. his brilliant, precious face. "don't say that ever again. not to me, not to anyone, please don't ever say that to yourself."

"you're meant to have everything good that you do. you took the shittiest cards given to you and _still_ made some magic. who in the hell is allowed to be that charming and dorky at the same time? you bring me so much joy. I'm sorry if I...if I haven't done the same for you--"

"you are my light," kun interrupts him almost immediately. "that's so fucking cheesy, I can't believe I just said that."

ten laughs. a hearty cackle that he hasn't let out since kun's accident. kun finally smiles and brings ten's face to his chest. he's in a weird position now, bending himself over kun's torso to be as close to him as physically possible.

"sometimes it feels like I don't deserve anything I have, especially you. I just want to marry you so badly." kun's voice tapers off into a whisper and ten feels his heart thrumming in his chest. god, this man loves him.

"oh, I'm gonna marry you. I don't care if I have to wait. I'm stubborn and you're strong. we're gonna get through this, whatever it takes,"

ten feels kun's lips brush his hairline. ten once learned about the japanese art of putting broken pieces of pottery back together with gold. that's what being with kun feels like.

"whatever it takes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe this is why ppl plan fics out LOL idk if I'm going too fast or not fast enough for my liking. hope it was a good read at least


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very sudden shift in the story alert
> 
> aka taeil + johnny time

" _bye ma_ , I love you."

johnny hangs up the phone before leaning back into the couch with a sigh. ever since kun's accident he had been a lot more...reflective. johnny had a pretty weird but very good life, he had to admit. he felt the urge to call his mother for no real reason, just to catch up and make sure things were good back home.

he played with the phone in his hand, throwing it into the air, watching it rotate a few times before landing in his other hand. he was thinking a lot more in general. about his parents and family all the way in chicago, his position at work, and especially his relationship with taeil. it was easy to take things for granted, but hard not to take a pause and be thankful for it all, especially when his mind wandered to kun. before he could get too sad and emotional, taeil entered their apartment with a bag of delivery chicken.

"oh, are you off the phone already?"

"yeah, it was a pretty short call," johnny replied, making grabby hands at the plastic bag. taeil tsked and handed it to him with one hand, the other going to clear their coffee table. they had a counter that _could_ be a dining table if they really wanted it to be, but eating on the couch in front of the TV was something they both really enjoyed. especially if it was their favorite takeout chicken.

"you didn't even let me say bye," taeil huffed. johnny paused in the middle of taking the chicken out to stick his tongue out at his older boyfriend.

"she sends her well wishes," johnny kissed taeil's temple before his lips got all greasy from their lunch. once they began eating it grew quiet, the two of them too engrossed in their own thoughts to have a proper conversation.

johnny finished his food first, and only then turned to see taeil only halfway done. he held his chicken in midair, not even trying to get it close to his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed. he looked constipated.

"you look constipated," he told him, taking the wing from his boyfriend and setting it back onto the styrofoam container. "would you like to explain why?"

"not enough fiber in my diet." taeil tried to joke, but it came out dry and sarcastic and not at all like the taeil johnny knew and loved.

"hey," johnny took taeil's hands in his. his fingertips knew almost every part of taeil's body by now, but especially his hands. his thumbs rubbed the spaces in between the knuckles almost automatically. "what's the real reason?"

"I don't know,"

"come on, use your words."

taeil rolled his eyes. he was a volunteer coordinator at a local nonprofit community center for kids. he was around children often, and dealt with outbursts so much that _"use your words"_ entered his daily lexicon, even with johnny and their friends.

"the real reason is that I'm... still really upset about what happened to kun."

johnny nodded, urging him to continue.

"like, the day before his accident we were planning a double date and then...you got the call and I...I'm glad you were the one home and were able to help, because honestly I don't think I would've been useful to them at all."

"don't say that, you would've given your all to help if you were there instead of me."

"you say that like you're so sure."

"maybe it's because I am."

taeil sighs, but it's his frustrated sigh and it makes all six feet of johnny shrink in on himself. he doesn't want this to become a fight. there was definitely some kind of tension between them ever since the incident and it's nobody's fault, but there's something that needs to be discussed. if only johnny knew exactly what it was.

"the only thing I've been thinking about since that night is what I would've done if it happened to you." taeil speaks so fast, like he doesn't even realize he's saying it aloud. his eyes widen once he does.

"oh." is all johnny responds with. because...oh. that is not what he expected. johnny himself had been contemplating similar things, but more than anything he was just grateful to be alive, grateful that kun was going to survive and eventually be fine, grateful that he and taeil and their friends could come together and be a support for him. he wasn't thinking about the hypotheticals, the _what ifs_.

"I know it's selfish, I'm sorry I even said it, oh my god." taeil retracts his hands and scrambles to clean up their lunch instead.

johnny watched him fumble around their coffee table in shock. when taeil finally stands with the boxes in his hand, johnny does the same. he blocks taeil softly, plucking the leftovers from his hands to set them back where they were. it's a low blow, using his size to his advantage to literally keep taeil from walking away. but something _did_ need to be discussed, and now he knew what it was.

"it's not selfish and you don't need to be sorry."

taeil visibly gulps, like he's swallowing any words threatening to spill out. johnny extends a hand. if taeil won't take it then he won't push it. his body nearly shakes with relief when taeil accepts it and allows himself to be led by johnny to their bedroom. it's the comfiest room in their apartment. mostly because the only thing in there is their bed. they splurged on a king size, because taeil deserves the only best and johnny is a giant. 

taeil merely sits on the edge but johnny fully lies down and pats the space next to him. they're still dressed in their outside clothes but neither of them care enough to change. johnny plays with the strings of taeil's hoodie, trying and untying random knots. he's waiting for taeil to start speaking again, and they both know it.

"I'm not that scared about you getting into some freak accident, it's a possibility, you know? and I never thought about it until now. if I were in ten's position...I know it's not healthy to focus on the negative or things that haven't even happened but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night just to make sure you're still here."

"oh, taeil, I didn't know that," johnny cuddles his boyfriend even closer. "I can't tell you not to be scared, because that's not helpful or realistic. one of our best friends just got into a really severe accident and our other best friend is suffering alongside him, it'd be weird if we weren't upset or scared for them. and it's okay if you're scared for us too. but I need you to know that no matter what happens to me, you will be okay."

taeil sniffs next to him, and johnny looks down to make sure he's not crying. he isn't, but johnny brushes a hand against his cheek anyways.

"you really will be. you're strong and smart and so brave. and we have so many _good_ people around us. you will never be alone, and I will try my hardest to always be by your side, okay?"

taeil doesn't respond for a few moments. instead he wraps his arm around johnny's waist even tighter, takes deeper breaths to smell his cologne, leaves a few kisses to his adam's apple.

"okay. I trust you."

"and?"

"and do your trust yourself?"

"yes, I trust myself," taeil sits up and turns to look back at his boyfriend. "who really has the psychology degree in this relationship? you just therapy'd me."

"that's not really a word, and I sat in on half your classes just to spend more time with you. I basically have shared custody of that degree."

taeil takes one of their pillows and throws it in johnny's general direction, not caring that he missed almost entirely.

"I'm gonna go finish my chicken." he says as he stands.

"I'm gonna go watch you." johnny smiles excitedly, following hot on taeil's heels like one of the clingy toddlers at his work.

"sure, weirdo."

" _your_ weirdo."

taeil turns around abruptly and johnny nearly bumps into his chest. he puckers his lips cutely and johnny can't help but laugh. he leans down to give a short kiss before he ruins the moment by sneaking a hand to grasp one of taeil's ass cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted this to be pure fluff when i started but the angst slipped in like wtf lmao


	7. Chapter 7

ten films the sight in front of him with his phone, knowing that it will be treasured for a long time to come.

it's sicheng's first time seeing kun awake. he is the first person ten calls once him and kun are able to go more than a few minutes without crying. sicheng was in the middle of finishing up a project report for work at yuta's apartment. when he found out kun was awake he didn't even have the patience to wait for yuta to get back from work. he took a cab and texted him to meet him at the hospital when he was done at the office.

but right now he was sobbing in his older cousin's embrace. kun scratches the back of sicheng's neck like he did all throughout childhood. he stopped once sicheng surpassed him in height, but he still did so whenever sicheng got really stressed in college. it's been years since kun has had the chance to coddle his favorite cousin like this and he takes full advantage of it.

kun smiles up at the ceiling, sicheng's face buried in his neck, and ten's camera catches the glint of tears in his eyes. they speak to each other in mandarin. once again, ten can only pick out pieces of their conversation. but even if they were speaking any of the three languages he knows, ten doesn't think he'd be able to fully understand them. kun's voice is muffled by the beanpole of a human on his chest and sicheng's sobbing voice was much less comprehensible than his normal speaking voice.

kun makes eye contact with ten and smiles at the camera. he says something to sicheng and nods his head at ten's phone. ten hears his name and is about to say something when sicheng whips around to stare wide-eyed into the lens.

"that's mean, ten- _hyung_ ," sicheng whines, his hands leaving kun's shoulders to rub at his eyes. kun immediately wraps his hands around sicheng's wrists to lower them. he reaches for a pack of wipes left on his bed from earlier and wipes sicheng's face for him. that's when ten decides to stop filming and opts instead to drag a chair over to sit next to sicheng.

"you're gonna be glad you have that video later. and so will yuta, you look so cute in it."

sicheng blushes and kun pauses with his hand midair, about to toss the used wipe in the trash bin by the door.

"yuta? you and yuta?!"

"it's not a big deal, we're just-"

"sichengie, darling, precious. if you say that you and yuta are 'just friends' one more time, I'm gonna post this video on instagram for the whole world to see." ten threatens casually, taking the wipe from kun's hand to throw away himself.

"were you just about to lie to your favorite _gege_?" kun crosses his arms in the hopes of appearing as threatening as ten. it doesn't really work when his lips subconsciously form into a pout.

"I wasn't gonna say that!" sicheng huffs in his seat. _adorable_ , ten thinks as he returns to his own chair. "we're just...figuring it all out. I still have to finish my internship. and yuta doesn't want to do long distance."

"but you love each other."

sicheng wants to roll his eyes but he can't do that to his kun- _ge_. especially not after he just woke up from a coma.

"can we not talk about me, please?" sicheng mirrors kun's pout but his is a bit more serious. kun drops his arms and reaches to hold one of sicheng's.

"sorry, I just missed teasing you. is this what it takes to get my baby cousin to visit from busan?"

"don't joke." sicheng drops the pout entirely, resorting to a glare instead. ten has a similar look. they both have their scolding face on, and kun scrambles to defend himself from their scathing words.

"I didn't mean for it to come out like that! thanks for coming all the way, I know you're really busy with work."

"I have to be, or else I'll just miss you guys too much." sicheng shrugs, like it's nothing. but kun understands his workaholic mentality. they were raised by the same family values. taught to do, work, act and never speak, play, feel.

" _so corny_ ," ten teases in english, a habit of his that only seems to come out whenever he's around sicheng. they had a long-running joke about being each other's language tutors but ten never improved his mandarin and sicheng was still as helpless in english. but he knew those two words, with how often ten said them.

"how is work for you anyways?"

sicheng launches into recent stories from his internship at an elementary school working with their speech specialist. for most of the job, sicheng is a glorified shadow, following the specialist's every move to see the inner workings of her job and what she does to help children communicate. but he still gets to interact with the students a lot and get hands-on training and experience. he's grateful to have the job, even if he's only getting a housing stipend. he freelances as an interpreter to help pay for other expenses which doesn't get him too much money, but it's called a side hustle for a reason.

ten eventually decides to give the cousins some privacy. he kisses kun goodbye and kisses sicheng's forehead when he catches him cringe at them. ten begins on his laundry list of errands, starting with driving himself home. jaehyun was an excellent negotiator and was able to get their insurance company pay for all of kun's medical expenses, a new car to replace kun's totaled one, and a temporary rental car which happened to be the shiny sexy convertible of ten's dreams.

when ten arrives home he picks up their mail and struggles bringing a pile of packages back up to their apartment. ten is a stress buyer; he can't help himself when the clothes look so nice and he is feeling so sad. at least now he didn't have to try to hide it all from kun.

he packs up a few things to bring to the hospital: kun's laptop and charger, one of his favorite mugs for himself, and clothes for the both of them. he even drops by one of the convenience stores near their apartment to pick up some of kun's favorite snacks. he's not even technically allowed to eat anything yet, but it's the thought that counts and ten wants some snacks for himself too. afterwards he goes to pick up a new phone for kun since his old one had been lost in the crash. while he's in the store ten also buys a simple case for the phone and sets some of his selfies as the lock and home screen.

by the time he returns to kun's room, yuta is there. he's standing behind sicheng who hasn't moved from his chair next to kun's bed. his hands lightly massage sicheng's shoulders and ten is torn between melting and cringing at the cuteness.

"hi _hyung_ ," ten greets yuta after setting their stuff down. "finished with work?"

yuta is dressed in one of his many accumulated business suits and it still baffles ten to see it. college yuta would never be caught _dead_ in something as stiff as what current yuta was wearing. then again, college yuta never thought he'd graduate with an international relations degree and an immediate job offer as a market research analyst. and nobody else imagined it either, with how often he changed his major and his distaste for anything office-related. but current yuta liked his job well enough. his company paid well, he was often left unsupervised, and he was good at it. he even got to travel a few times a month to work with their international branches. but it sucked when he had to be away from his friends, especially when they were in times of need.

"unfortunately, no. I'm just on my lunch break. but I wanted to see you guys first or I'd go crazy waiting at the office."

"he got me flowers," kun pipes up from the bed, and ten looks to the windowsill at a beautiful vase of bright pink flowers.

"peonies. happy life and good health," yuta clarifies.

"ugh, prince charming strikes again," ten laughs, finally going to hug yuta in greeting before sitting down. yuta had so many people going after him in college, and it wasn't hard to see why. yuta was all suave and no shame, the killer combination that had all the girls and gays swooning. someone with a crush on yuta once called him prince charming to his face and then it became his nickname in their friend circle for all time. "I forgot you spent so much time in college studying plant symbolism."

"it's a useful skill! came in handy just ten minutes ago when I went to go buy those at the gift shop downstairs."

"consider me charmed." kun brought a hand dramatically to his forehead before ten swatted it away.

"that's not allowed," ten grumbled while everyone else laughed.

"he might have gotten you flowers but I brought you something actually useful," ten ignores yuta's offended squawk and hands kun his new phone.

"my true hero," kun smiles when he takes it gratefully. of course, the first thing he sees is ten's face. he finishes the setup process and syncs his data, downloading all of the important apps and checking all the messages he's missed. it turns out to be a lot. he has work e-mails, well wishes from other friends, messages from social media, breaking news notifications, and so many texts in the group chat. it's only been a week but he has a lot to catch up on.

"I should probably let everyone know you're awake, huh?" ten pulls out his own phone when he sees kun scrolling through the chat.

"or!" yuta interrupts with a smile they all know means trouble. "you could tell them yourself."

kun tilts his head like a scolding parent, a look that he, taeyong, and doyoung have all mastered despite the fact that none of them have children.

"imagine just going about your life and your friend in a coma sends a selfie out of nowhere! they'll freak out and I can laugh at their reactions." yuta smiles smugly, leaning down to wrap his arms around sicheng's shoulders from behind.

"say cheese," kun says suddenly, and neither yuta nor sicheng have time to prepare for the picture kun takes of them in this position. kun smiles satisfied at his little trick while his cousin and his cousin's not-boyfriend fluster around and beg him to delete it. kun smiles harder when ten starts clapping as he laughs, increasing his satisfaction.

"imagine just going about your life and your friend in a coma sends a picture of the world's most annoying couple!" kun is already typing something out and yuta hangs his head in defeat.

"we're not annoying! and we're not even a couple..." sicheng tries to defend himself, but it only makes yuta tense up. he goes to remove his arms but sicheng just holds onto them tighter.

ten notices the sudden tension and tries to diffuse it. "well you can label yourselves however you want but you _are_ indeed annoying. can't wait to see everyone's reactions though." ten smiles with his chin in the palm of his hand. sicheng's blush is reaching his neck and yuta buries his own red face in sicheng's hair and wow they really are annoying. they've been like this since college and have yet to define the relationship.

"sent!" kun waves his phone around, and the rest of them check their group chat for the notification. it takes a few moments but soon enough the chat quickly blows up.

surprisingly taeil is the first to react. he sends a heart and a genuine **"youngsters so cute"** before he begins typing again and follows up with a **"WAIT KUN???"**

johnny responds similarly with his own keyboard smashes, before claiming: **"this better not be a joke bc me and taeil are on our wAY BACK NOW"**

ten cackles as similar texts begin to pour in from taeyong, whose messages are uncharacteristically filled with typos. he's in the middle of his shift right now which means he's risking his precious bake to respond to the unexpected but great news.

jaehyun reacts coolly, of course he does, welcoming kun back to the chaos of the waking world. **"us sane people missed u <3"** he adds in, earning a snicker from kun and a scoff from ten.

doyoung is the only one who hasn't said anything, even though the read receipts indicate he's seen it. a little odd, since doyoung isn't the unresponsive type like his boyfriend is, and even jaehyun replied pretty fast. but kun doesn't let himself feel hurt, since he's already had his fun.

they're all scrolling through the chat, laughing with each other at some of their friends' messages. they take a few more pictures of them all together, kun confirming that _yes_ he is awake and _yes_ they can come visit whenever and _no_ he hasn't eaten because there's a tube in his stomach and before he can say anything else, their quiet is interrupted by someone scrambling to open the door. they all look up to see that it's _doyoung_ of all people, dressed in his work scrubs, his ID badge dangling from the front shirt pocket.

"YOU'RE AWAKE?!" doyoung points his finger accusingly at kun who laughs and simply opens his arms for his same-age friend. doyoung closes the gap between them in just 2 steps and this time it's ten's turn to take a picture and send to the group chat.

**-johnil lost the race,** **doyoung made it here first**

**-for fucks sake, doyoung WORKS two floors below you**

**-that's my guy, always a winner B)**

**-stfu jaehyun**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a dojae chapter bc they deserve one
> 
> but ngl it's mostly doie hehe

jaehyun's eyes blink open against their will. he could've sworn he was in the middle of a dream, about to accept some fancy trophy on a stage in front of thousands of screaming fans. it felt so real, but it had to be a dream, because there was no way he could ever be a celebrity, let alone an idol singer. he can't even fulfill that fantasy in his dreamland, because his sleep is interrupted by noises from the kitchen.

he's lived with his boyfriend long enough to recognize the clink of metal and glass baking pans. he throws the covers off of himself and shuffles in his slippers towards the kitchen. most nights, jaehyun would hear him tinkering around and would let it be. stress baking is how doyoung released his steam and tired himself out, and he almost always fell asleep right after the last dish was washed. but doyoung had a full-day shift starting at 8 in the morning. and he hadn't slept well recently, with what happened to kun. jaehyun knew he had to get his boyfriend back to bed before he continued any further.

doyoung sees him right as he enters the kitchen and pouts like a toddler. "I was trying to be quiet..."

jaehyun hummed in response and merely took the can of non-stick cooking spray out of doyoung's hand. it looked like he was just about to get started, so jaehyun had arrived just in time. "you could be quiet in bed with me," he murmurs, looping his arms around doyoung's waist.

doyoung snorts. "we both know I'm not very quiet when I'm in bed with you."

"ugh that's not what I meant. sleep, you, me, now. please?"

"I'm just making cookies. I froze some dough earlier this week, I just have to pop it in the oven. won't take long, you can go back to bed." doyoung removes his boyfriend's hands and turns him around, swatting his bum for good measure.

jaehyun turns right back around and blocks doyoung's way, placing himself in between him and the counter. "can you at least tell me why you want to bake cookies right now? it's past 1am, love."

doyoung sighs and now it's his turn to wrap his arms around jaehyun's waist. he lays his head on his chest and tries to gather his thoughts to put them into words.

"I just wanted to bring something up to kun's room tomorrow. or, later today."

"you know you don't have to."

"I do know that. but I also know that ten loves my cookies and I was gonna visit anyways and I don't wanna be empty-handed and I was just in bed thinking--"

"oh no, not thinking." jaehyun dips his head back, groaning dramatically.

"you interrupted me." doyoung pouts.

"I had to, you were just so cute rambling on to avoid getting to the point."

"...I was just in bed _thinking_ about how I want to help. this is the only way I can, so I'm gonna do it."

"babe, do you really think baking the night before a long shift is gonna be helpful to anyone?"

"you also have a hard job with long days and you've helped so much and I'm _right there_ at the hospital and the only thing I can do is visit on my breaks? the least I can do is bring some damn cookies with me."

jaehyun sighs. doyoung is prone to worrying, and always has been. he says that he likes it that way, because it keeps him busy and on his toes and jaehyun believes him. but that doesn't mean that he's gonna let his boyfriend run himself into the ground as a result of it.

he leans his head down so his forehead meets doyoung's. "nobody's keeping score. everyone contributes in their own ways, and ten isn't gonna dropkick you just because you stop by without some desserts. you're such a big help, even if you don't see it. ten loves talking with you. I think you've helped him maintain some kind of normalcy in the middle of all of this. and you help them by helping me. do you think I would've been able to make all those calls if you weren't there to cheer me on?"

it's true. jaehyun took on handling their insurance company, and while he succeeded with no real problems, it was still a pretty daunting task. there was one night where doyoung stayed up with him just to hold his hand while he sent off emails and debated payouts over the phone.

"I just want to do _more_. even if it's just a little bit. I hate seeing kun like that but there's nothing I can do to help him right now. and I hate seeing ten so upset and there is something I can do, even if I do it at 1 in the morning." doyoung breathes deeply and peels himself away from jaehyun. he begins rifling through their freezer in search of his premade dough when he hears his boyfriend sigh once more. doyoung pushes down the urge to argue. he knows this habit isn't the most healthy and that he definitely will be tired all day at work because of it. he expects jaehyun to be headed towards their bedroom when he turns around, but instead he sees him washing his hands.

"what are you doing?"

"you help me so much. I think it's time that I help you." jaehyun's smile is shy and his dimples barely reveal themselves and doyoung feels like crying. to keep himself from doing so, he hurries over to pop a kiss on his cheek.

"thank you, love," doyoung smiles wider at his boyfriend's blush. "now dry your hands so we can finish and go to sleep faster."

~

doyoung, of course, is dead tired when he gets dropped off at work by jaehyun. the hospital is on the way to jaehyun's office, so like always, he drops his older boyfriend off first. jaehyun is a bit of a monster in that he is able to function off of two hours of sleep and two shots of espresso. doyoung grumbled about it earlier that morning when jaehyun was whistling happily into his mug.

jaehyun leans over the gearshift, angling his cheek in doyoung's direction. even in his exhaustion, the action makes him smile, and doyoung complies by pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before wishing him a good day at work. he clocks in with one hand, the other holding a container of his (and jaehyun's) infamous cookies. he sees one of his coworkers, jinyoung, eyeing them when he walks into the break room.

"is that for-"

"no." doyoung deadpans, not even looking at him.

jinyoung sighs. "why do I even bother asking anymore?" he grumbles, closing the fridge he was standing in front of to go do his job or something.

doyoung chuckles to himself, placing the cookies on top of the fridge before proceeding to also go do his job or something. he doesn't have many scans this early in the morning, but he and jinyoung both have to disinfect the beds in the lab before any patients arrive.

he spent his first break getting really quick shuteye in the break room. jinyoung was actually his supervisor that day and ended up telling him to take a nap asap after getting a good look at his undereye bags. his lunch break was spent on the phone with jaehyun, and doyoung continued his grumbling at how his boyfriend was still full of energy. when he finally started his second break of the day, he was met with a bunch of notifications from their group chat. he scrolled through the messages casually, confused at all the keyboard smashes and exclamation points. why is everybody reacting so much over a photo of yuta and sicheng? they're all over each other all the time. it's when doyoung sees the contact name for who sent the photo that he nearly drops everything to get to room 1011. he speed walks through the halls of the hospital but ends up running anyways when he gets closer. before he could catch his breath he opens the door and points a finger at the man of the hour.

"YOU'RE AWAKE?!"

kun used to tease him that he was always yelling, mostly because he was constantly a witness to his and ten's frequent debates. and then doyoung would defend himself, saying that his voice was just naturally loud. this time, however, kun is right. doyoung is yelling, of course he is, one of his best friends just woke up from a coma.

"fuck, you're awake." doyoung mumbled into kun's neck, noting that they had already removed the ET from his mouth.

"I am." his voice is hoarse but still gentle as ever. just like in college, when doyoung fell victim to stress and loudness, kun was there to comfort and quiet.

"and you're okay?"

"I will be."

"...I left your cookies in the break room."

doyoung finds himself grinning when kun laughs at him. he missed kun so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 17k whew !


End file.
